지은아,
You survived two and a half months living in Korea!!!
장하다! 장해! I’m so proud of you. You deserve all of the awards.
You made two big trips outside of 포항.
You went to 파주 to see your family.
You went to 서울 to see your family.
You saw your family.
You saw your family.
Like the incredible 엄마 you are, you took two two-and-a-half train rides with Haejoon by yourself (!!!) from 포항 to 서울 (this was so hard). You took a two-and-a-half-hour train ride with Greg and Haejoon from 서울 to 포항 (this was hard, but not as hard). And you took a three-and-a-half-hour bus with Greg and Haejoon from 서울 to 포항 (this was bananas).
You will never take the 고속버스 for more than an hour with a toddler again.
You wrote seven newsletters!
You wrote a beautiful letter describing what it’s like living in 포항, in Korea, in the spring. You described your morning walks, the flowers blooming in your neighborhood, and the feeling of living in Korea for the first time since you were displaced to America as a child 36 years ago, in the spring of 1990.
You wrote a tender tribute to Phil Cafe and Phil Cafe 사장님. You gave him his flowers. You shared the vulnerable letter you wrote and gave to him before you left New York, thanking him for creating such a safe, welcoming space for Koreans in Brooklyn.
You courageously shared your honest questions and thoughts about forgiveness that you had written last April. You wrote this piece after the abrupt endings of several friendships, during one of the most vulnerable periods of your life — carrying the crippling weight of motherhood and grief.
You courageously shared a list of reminders you had written to yourself in December 2024. It was the end of your first year without 아빠, your first year of grief, your first pregnancy, and your first time becoming a mother.
You wrote a letter to yourself just like this one! You gave yourself all of the awards for all of the things you accomplished, survived, and endured in March, your first month living in Korea.
You wrote a letter of questions without answers. You wrote down all of the things you’re worried about, all of the things you’re scared of, all of the things that bring you anxiety. All of the big questions of life.
You wrote a letter of responses to all of those impossible, unanswerable questions. You reminded yourself that you will find a way.
You have always found a way.
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